When Minor Characters Want Attention
by XiXi Scarlett
Summary: Okay, if you were a minor character with practically no fanfictions about you, what would you do? You'd probably be like Scabior and I and host an event to give minors recognition.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N I just had to._

_Scabior: I hate these 'disclaimers' you writers of this 'fanfiction' are always complaining about. XiXi Scarlet does not, and she does not claim, to own Harry Potter or anything you recognize._

_-When Minor Characters Want Attention-_

_-Chapter One-_

There is a dark stage with a crowded audience, who are abviously the readers of this story. Some are whispereing to each other, some are prepared to write flames, some just want some humor other than reading all those commentaries of 'My Immortal', and some are there purely to see what this sixth grade girl wants to write about.

Suddenly, red curtains open and a dark haired girl drags a boy a little older than herself on the stage, which is now brightly lit. You notice that there is a leather sofa, coffee table, and leather recliner onstage. You can partially see backstage, where the girl is furiously typing on her laptop, occasionally grinning.

The boy taps the microphone that is on the stage as the audience starts to quiet down.

"Um, hello. I'm Regulus Arcturus Black. I want to-" Regulus is interrupted.

"Are you _serious_?" A flamer demands.

"Um, no. I just plainly stated that I am Regulus."

The flamer stood up and angrily stormed out of the room.

"Anyway, I want to host this, erm... XiXi, what is this called again?" Regulus asks, obviously nervous.

"A web-a-thon!" the girl calls.

"Yes, this _web-a-thon_. I have no idea why I am here, but I want to call the attention to the more minor characters. Like me. Sure, _everyone _knows Sirius Black, the hot one. _Nobody _seems to care about poor little Regulus Arcturus Black who died when he was eighteen trying to destroy Salazar Slytherin's locket while seeming to remain a faithful Death Eater. What is the meaning of this?" Regulus asks, getting less nervous with the audience as his purpose grows.

A Snatcher is shoved onstage, wearing a scarf that looks pink in the light. He is also wearing a black cloak, but the author is too lazy to describe everything in detail and is afraid that if she does she will seem like Tara Gilesbie. She still feels the need to emphasize his scarf.

"I'm Scabior. I don't exactly know why I'm 'ere but she put me in 'ere so I'll go along with it," the pink scarf guy says.

Regulus whispers in Scabior's ear and Scabior nods.

"In the movies, theys wanted me to feel special, so theys put me as the lead Snatcher. That is not true."

Gasps are heard from the audience, with one 'I KNEW IT'.

"I am not head Snatcher. That is my pal Fenrir Greyback who gets mad when I 'steal his thunder'. Don't mistake me for head Snatcher unless you want me severely maimed." Scabior nods to Regulus as Regulus continues.

"We're only minor characters, and we deserve some attention. So stop writing about Harry freakin' Potter and start letting us be included!" Regulus shouts into the microphone, which magnifies his voice even louder, so everyone, including Scabior, covers their ears. "Sorry for the shouting."

Scabior yanks the microphone from Regulus. "'e's got a point, y'know." Scabior glances sideways offstage and pulls at his scarf nervously. "I am also _not _gay just because I wear a scarf that looks pink. It is a manly pink."

Regulus snickers. Scabior slaps him and Regulus slaps back. They continue slapping each other.

"What are you two _doing_?" the authoress shrieks. "How am I letting you two do this? Continue with what you're supposed to be doing!"

Scabior sighs and crosses his arms. Regulus does the same. Scabior mutters something inaudible and he turns around to go sit on the sofa, propping his feet up on a coffee table. Crookshanks strolls onstage and curls up on Scabior's lap.

"Crookshanks believes 'e should get a say in things. 'e is not part lion, but part Kneazle and many fail to notice this," Scabior says. Regulus looks surprised at Scabior's sudden change in vocabulary. Scabior clears his throat nervously. "I was just quoting 'im."

Mr. Tibbles streaks across the stage and hops up on the leather sofa next to Scabior and Crookshanks.

"And Mr. Tibbles doesn't get enough recognition. 'e 'appens to be Ms. Figgs's cat," Scabior quickly adds, shooing the cats away.

"That's all the ti-" Regulus is interrupted as the authoress runs out.

"No!" the dark-haried girl shrieks. "It's not over! We haven't reached over one thousand words! Oh! Did you know that if you spelled numbers, you wouldn't use 'a' until you reached 'thousand'?"

Scabior pushes her offstage and Mr. Tibbles follows her. "Yeah, sure. She likes spouting random facts all the time. Ignore 'er."

"Shut up!"

Scabior rolls his eyes and retreats back to the leather couch, stroking Crookshanks. Regulus looks extremely awkward as he stands without saying anything.

"Er, anyone else want to share anything?" Regulus asks, looking offstage.

Scabior laughs. "It all got awkward when XiXi came out 'ere."

A shoe is thrown at Scabior's head as another person is shoved onstage.

"Who the heck are you?" he asks. "Where the heck am I? Why is that guy stroking a cat? Why am I asking so many questions? Why did I do that again? What's wrong with me?"

Regulus ponders for a amoment before answering. "I'm Regulus, and that's Scabior. You're currently trying to give us minor characters some recognition. Scabior likes half-cat half-Kneazles. I don't exactly know. As far as I know, nothing is wrong with you. Now, who are _you_?"

"Me?" the stranger asks, scratching his head. "I'm not so sure. I think I'm one of those forgotten people who are just in the background."

A long cane comes in from the side of the stage and pulls the stranger off the stage. A different person is shoved onstage. She is blonde and has brown eyes covered by green glasses, if you inspect closely.

"Um, I'm Amy Benson," she says, fiddling with her glasses.

There is a chorused 'WHO?'.

"I'm from the same orphanage as Tom Marvalo Riddle, but nobody pays any attention to me. I'm even skipped over when you try to check," she tucks her hair behind her ear and continues. "Not much is about me. I'd like to say that I'm a squib."

"Oooooh," everyone choruses.

"Yes, I'm a very minor character. I get it," she says, as if she explains it all the time.

"Now, I think that's enough for today," Scabior says, getting up and grabbing the microphone from Regulus. "'Bye, everyone. Remember to give us minors some recognition.

The curtains close and the audience starts to take out their computers and start to typer reviews.

_-End Chapter One-_

_A/N Pottermore won't come out for everyone until the end of October. D: Le gasp! Review pleeeease!_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N I'm glad some people actually read this! COOKIES FOR REVIEWERS! _

_Draco: Now for the story._

_-When Minor Characters Want Attention-_

_-Regulus's Advice for Writing a Good Story-_

A roaring applause is heard as the heavy red curtain is pulled back once again. Scabior is reclined on a leather recliner, his feet propped up against the glass-topped coffee table. Regulus is once more on center stage. He still looks a little uncomfortable, but not too much.

As the applause dies down, Regulus clears his throat and begins to speak.

"Hello again. I'm positive you remember Scabior and I. If not, that's Scabior and I'm Regulus," he says, gesturing to the two wizards in turn. "Are there any new readers here? Any at all?"

A few audience members raise their hands.

"If you are a Sue-writer, put your hand down."

Everyone who was raising their hands put them down.

"Good. At least we know that there are some Sue-writers 'ere," Scabior says. "Was that supposed to have any importance, Regulus?"

"Uh, yes. I'm going to give advice so the popularity of Sues will di-be fewer. Hopefully none," Regulus adds the last part quickly.

"Oh, great. We're having an English lesson," Scabior sighs and rolls his eyes.

"If we, like, speak English, why do we have to, like, learn it?" A sue-writer asks. "That's stupid."

"Oh, well. Regulus's Rule Number One. Don't question Regulus," Regulus smirks. "Regulus's Rule Number Two. If you're going to write an orginal character, make it realistic."

"But Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way _is _realistic!" a girl with a high-pitched voice wearing all hot pink Hollister and has blonde hair squeals.

Everyone, including Scabior, gasps.

It

is

TARA GILESBIE!

There's one moment of silence until everyone runs around screaming in terror, while Sue-writers and trolls run up to greet their idol. Scabior and the two cats are hiding in the corner covering their eyes as if that could save them, and Regulus is trying desperately to calm everyone down.

"Readers! Readers! Readers, _please_!" he shouts.

XiXi stomps onstage and grabs the microphone.

"SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" she shrieks. She smiles and hands the microphone back to Regulus.

Everyone sits down and tries to gather themselves. Some newbies are hyperventalating, and the writers who have been on fanfiction for a while are helping them with their trauma.

"Regulus's Rule number Three. If Regulus's voice is heard, everyone shuts up," Regulus orders sternly.

"Scabior's Rule of Utter Epicness. Do the exact opposite of Regulus's Rules," Scabior mutters under his breath. Unfortunately, everyonne heard and obeyed.

"This is chaos," Regulus mumbles. "Screw the whole thing. Let's just give up." He starts to trudge off the stage when some fangirl runs up.

"Give up? Give up? After the whole one chapter and almost a half you want to just _give up_?" she asks. She grabs Regulus's shoulders and shakes him. "You, Regulus Arcturus Black, are going to give up because the audience is going crazy?"

Regulus thinks for a moment, and then he nods.

"You are _not _going to give up!" she shrieks. The Random Fangirl kisses Regulus, turns him around, and pushes him toward the microphone, yelling something about not giving up.

Regulus blushes and nervously grabs the microphone from its stand. "Um, er, HEY! EVERYONE!"

Everyone stops and freezes.

"SIT DOWN!"

The audience slowly sits back down in the theater chairs.

"LISTEN UP!" Regulus now starts talking again in a quieter voice. "Now. The best thing in a good story is a followable-is that a word?-plot. If it's like one moment the girl's shy and then she's loud and rude," he glances at XiXi, "then it's stupid. If the girl takes her time to open up, then that's wonderful. You get it?"

The whole audience slowly nods.

"Sue-writers must come next time and stay after for special..er...let's call it violent tutoring sessions. That's all for tonight, folks! Goodnight! Drive safe!"

"See ya," Scabior says.

_BEHIND THE SCENES_

Regulus runs into his dressing room. Tonight's show was crazy. The appearance of Tara Gilesbie, all those Sue-writers, Regulus's drop-dead-right-now moment...

And Regulus is amazed by how Scabior didnt tease him or really say anything.

"Ickle Regulus has a _girlfriend_," Scabior shouts.

Regulus starts banging his head repeatedly.

_A/N Review?_


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